maybe i should care less. maybe. but i definitely need to love more. definitely.
my AG has this little thread going about saving money, spending money, and investing money. stuff that has been, actually, in my head for the past few months or so. reading up on CFP, learning more about investments, opportunities and debt ratios, economics and stuff like that, to thinking about my holiday in the USA, how much i'm going to spend, to my scholarship, how much i can save by getting it and stuff like that. we can't deny. we all need money. and we seem never to have enough of it. at any point in time.
but is the pursuit of money an end in itself? ppl my age seem willing to work themselves to the ground, in search for better degrees to boost their salaries (reminder of the article where many have been left disappointed in search for higher pays after forking out 100k for their EMBA), willing to take the toll of 60-hour (and beyond) work weeks to bring home 6-digit salaries a year, (not to mention 6-digit bonuses as well). zipping around in a cool BMW, working til 10pm at night, with your bed and laptop your best friends. is that life? maybe.
busy-ing oneself is a good way to just get your mind off things (ahem) and perhaps feel a justification for one's existence, maybe. that at the end of the day, even though i barely have energy to do anything else, i'm securing someone else's future. perhaps? what would you be exchanging in turn for the riches. i can't say now, since i don't know whether i'll be married by then, whether i'll have other commitments and stuff like that, i wonder if i'll even be close to God (not that i am now, but its been much better of late.)
the only thing keeping me at ST now is probably the possibility of talking to people and finding out more about life. in general. to some extent i'm glad i'm not temp-ing elsewhere because then i'll probably hang out with only the ppl my age, and not be willing to place myself in situations where i HAVE to talk or listen to people older, and who have perspectives that i could only pluck out from a storybook. these things, when out of the horses' mouth, can bring forth understanding beyond measure.
i was at this law guy's office just yday, before work was up, and i had gone with my friend to see him regarding some contract stuff. after work was discussed, we just had this lazy chat with him, the way things go on a friday evening, barely an hour to the weekend, and no pressing issues left to be settled (there's always another day) talking about pay, hiring new staff, turnovers have been common talk, since many (incl my boss, and some of the lunch party) have recently decided to leave for (apparently) greener pastures. but amidst all the craze, all the hankering for more pay and stuff like that, i meet this guy, who simply puts aside the opportunity to double his pay packet (or even more), happy to drive his Toyota Yaris (1.5l, manual, cannot run but can move), work 8.30 to 6 so that he can play badminton twice a week, and yeah. enjoy life. not that he'll want to stay in ST forever lar, but seriously. i think we need more people like that. ambition is a necessary evil i must say, but definitely, we need to consider our options, and the opportunity costs as well. hmm.
food for thought.
i can't wait to get out of Singapore. get to Chiang Mai, get out of ST. and move on with my life. somehow.
i think that somethings. are just lost causes.
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